Updated: Sep 4, 2020
Adrienne is an incredible woman. For starters, she's the website's primary photographer, and she produces some of the greatest baked goods you'll ever consume. She's also intentionally venturing outside of her comfort zone, and has opened up exponentially in the last couple of years. (For the first several months of our dating relationship, she couldn't look me in the eye, although presumably she was checking me out on the sly. What woman wouldn't?)
Today is Adrienne's birthday, and a few weeks ago she told me that for her present she wanted a Ghostbusters uniform of her own. She was going to join me in my escapades! I was of course thrilled, and we agreed that it would be appropriate for her to don the jumpsuit based on the 2016 female reboot, which we both enjoyed. Prior to this, she would show her support on more of a sideline basis, wearing a Ghostbusters shirt which she somehow inherited from me. She looks better in it than I ever did, anyway!
Also, Adrienne once took on the challenging role of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, as she lumbered around a local shopping center. Then, she decided to showcase a surprisingly different take on the character. Those ballet lessons finally paid off, as she dazzled the mall's denizens with her fancy footwork. She later confessed to me that she wasn't self-conscious in the suit, as no one could see her. Now that we both have uniforms, we're currently accepting applications for a new Marshmallow Man. (An interpretive dance background is a plus.)
I had always hoped to marry a nerdy girl, and in fact I once posted a personal ad on Craigslist looking for just that. (It was an unfruitful search, and for the record, don't look for love on Craigslist.) Adrienne was the one to initiate contact on our dating site, despite my profile intentionally putting all my weirdness out there. My logic: If a woman wanted to meet me after reading that, then she would be a keeper. But I had never planned on getting the mythical Hot Nerd, and after seeing Adrienne in her new regalia today, I've never been more proud of her.
Immediately after receiving her jumpsuit and equipment, Adrienne was anxious to try on the whole ensemble. In our haste to gear up, her neutrino wand inadvertently became stuck under her belt. Tragically, this scenario spells disaster for dozens of Ghostbusters every year:
Unlike my painstakingly-assembled getup, Adrienne's uniform is actually a retail Halloween costume. Released by Rubie's in 2016 under their high-end Grand Heritage line, it provided a no-fuss solution to her cosplay participation. The proton pack is made of a heavy-duty foam rubber, and looks surprisingly authentic; even the "brass" tubing has weld marks. The pack and wand combined weigh three pounds. (I didn't want to speculate, so I put it on Adrienne's baker scale! This is serious journalism.)
The uniform came with four interchangeable names, all from its corresponding 2016 film. For the purposes of our impromptu photo shoot, we slapped on the Holtzmann tag, but I also gave Adrienne a personalized patch for later application. (She will take the Velcro off of the jumpsuit with a seam ripper, and iron on her own name tag.) Now, we can truly be that sickening couple, and it's very likely that you'll see us join forces in future articles. (Like this one.) Until then, keep on busting!